I’m With Her

I’m not a celebrity, I don’t have a really large readership.  I’m a struggling author and artist.  I can say that I make absolutely, positively NO money with my writing, photography, or even my hand-made mosaics.  My only claim to fame is that my husband is an officer in the United States Air Force, and even that fact I hide (though I am immensely proud of him, I don’t deserve any credit for his success).  Yet I decided to declare, like a celebrity, who I am voting for.  Namely, because my decision is not a popular one in my community.  The responses from other veterans, neighbors, and military spouses: “Were you dropped on your head?” “You must be a special kind of stupid,” or my favorite one, “You are a traitor…”

Yep, I’m one stair step up from Bowie Bergdahl and that kid, who sold his stuff to Wiki-leaks.  I’m voting for Hillary Clinton.  Lucky for me, I own this site, so while I don’t necessarily have to explain my reasoning, but I want to explain my reasoning.  I cannot, even as a somewhat conservative individual support what the Republican Party has become.  I knew I was not going to vote for Trump the minute I saw the recording of him making fun of the reporter.  From there it was kind of a windy road to get me to not only declare for Clinton, but to completely change my political party…

First of all she’s a woman…  I used to think that was a utterly stupid reason to vote for someone, but then I got cancer and realized the inequity in female medical care versus male medical care when I tried to apply for veteran’s benefits.  My cancer was deemed service connected by the doctor at the VA, and I was still turned down for benefits, when I read many men with similar cancers were getting disability benefits.  Besides female medical benefits, I can’t see women being respected in an administration that accuses a woman of being on her period when they don’t like what she has to say.  Nor can I vote for someone, who trades in wives almost as much as he changes his underwear.  Nor can I vote for someone, who changes what he says based on the crowd he is in front of.  Nor can I vote for someone, who says he is going to punish women if they have an abortion.

Secondly, educational rights and ADA/IDEA…  This is one of the platform points that’s the most important to me.  When we first moved to Florida, my son was performing at just below grade level.  He did have some behaviors, but they were minimal.  He had a teacher that absolutely loved him.  We put him into public school, and his performance fell off. He reacted poorly to the teacher, and I could tell that the teacher did not like him.  He now cannot read, or write.  I do blame myself for some of this, but I mostly blame the school system that let him down.  I don’t see how things would improve by disbanding the Department of Education.  I don’t see a man, who makes fun of a disabled reporter as someone, who would deal compassionately with my son.  When called out for making fun of the reporter, Trumps supporters accused people of being oversensitive, or too politically correct.  Here’s the thing, people with special needs have feelings too, and those feelings count as well.  My son, though cognitively delayed is very aware of how people treat him and look at him.  He can tell when someone doesn’t like him, and so can I.

Do I really want the man, who has his finger on the button to be completely uneducated on what that button does?  Hillary Clinton never served in the military, got it.  She may have potentially killed four people, got it.  She leaked classified information on a home server, got it.  But I have the utmost confidence that she wouldn’t fly off the handle and misuse nuclear weapons.  I also know that she isn’t $250 million in debt to one of our biggest adversaries.  She knows what the nuclear triad is.  Trump had to be schooled by another candidate.  Trump may have a fair to mediocre business sense, but he doesn’t have the temperament or knowledge to manage a country in an extended war.

Finally, the name calling…  Trump has started a trend of calling opponents names.  “Crooked Hillary,” “Lying Ted,” and “Little Marco” was a real turn off for me.  It said more about Trump, than it said about any of those he opposed.  Further, when people on the Trump Train began calling Clinton Supporters names, it drove me further and further to her side.  When a politician calls people names rather than addresses issues it tells me that they are not educated, and not willing to be educated, by the real issues.  Further, it also displays a complete lack of compassion and empathy towards other people.  My political views are fluid.  I’m starkly in the middle, I could be easily compelled to vote for any political party.  When I make a decision to vote for someone calling me names does not change my mind.

These are just a few of the reasons I have decided to vote for Hillary Clinton.  If you are going to comment on my blog, please keep the discussion/comments respectful.  Anyone that makes disrespectful comments, or insults me will be blocked.

 

 

Dear Mr/Mrs Future President…

Dear Mrs. Clinton/Mr. Trump/Mr. Johnson/Mrs. Stein,

One of you will have the ultimate honor of being the next commander-in-chief.  All four of you have promised in one way, or another, to take care of veterans and military families during your campaigns.  As a military veteran and military spouse, I have an interesting insight on how you can truly help us.

First of all, throwing money at programs with a fancy name is not going to provide much help.  For the last 14 years of my husband’s 19 years of service, I have been unemployed.  For the most part, I volunteered to be the stay at home mom, but when I was ready to return to work, I discovered much to my dismay that my commission, 40% disability rating, and experience meant next to nothing.  The “real world” is like the honey badger, it doesn’t give a f(#*.  It doesn’t care that you race directed three 5-kilometer races, and raised over $70K for autism charities.  It doesn’t care that you are a published author, that you gave away your artwork that you work extremely hard on, or that you have put the free freelance for years.  The real world doesn’t care.

Secondly, please change the EFMP system for special needs children.  My son is one of those military children that have fallen through cracks.  He has been written off as uneducateable by the local school system.  He was ABUSED in a classroom, and sadly there was NOTHING I could do about it.  I tried hiring a lawyer, but the local school district had all education lawyer on retainer.  I tried writing the newspaper, and I was told by readership that they didn’t want my child bringing down the standards for their children.  I even contacted Dr. Phil, but my husband didn’t want to go to on a daily talk show.  How can you help with this?  Make school districts for ALL special education students (not just military ones) accountable for not following the law!  It is amazing how back asswards some districts are.  The military is a powerful way to affect change in educational standards for special needs kiddos.  Basically, if the military start refusing to send families to school districts that systematically ignore the law– it will hit them where it counts.  The military where I live has a strong positive impact on the local economy.  There are over 10,000 family members in the state I live in now with special needs, and if those families were to move, it would negatively impact an economy.

Finally, the number one employer for veterans is actually the US Government.  One thing the government can do to make it easier for veterans is make the application process less cumbersome.  The complicated application process makes applying for a job a daunting task.  Many veterans quit before the accomplish their application.  The transfer and application process makes it difficult for veterans and spouses apply for jobs.

Lions and Hippos

There are two animals that live in the plains and jungles of Africa– lions and hippos.

Lions
Lions are the warriors of Africa.  They are beautiful, lean, muscular.  There are movies about lions, musicals about lions, and kings have been named after lions.  The “Ghost and The Darkness” is a horror movie about man eating lions that lived along the fledgling railroad being built in the 19th century in Africa.  “The Lion King” is a beautiful animated film, and live action Broadway musical about the life of a lion.  It begins at the infancy of a small lion named Simba, and finishes when Simba becomes the King of Pride Rock.  The musical and the movie won awards and accolades.  The English King, King Richard I, was known as the Lion Heart.  He was born in 1157 and died in 1199.  He was considered brave.  He led armies at the age of 16, and used his position as king to raise one of the strongest armies throughout Europe.  He was fictionally portrayed in various “Robin Hood” productions as the cousin of Maid Marion, the love interest of Robin.  He was seen as strong and the heroic king, who fought in the first Crusades.

Hippos
Hippos are the polar opposite of lions.  They are not brave, they are not dangerous, and they are not portrayed kindly in most movies.  There are no kings named after hippos.  Rather, they have become the representation of a joke.  Hippos are seen as lazy, demanding, diva-ish, dependent, and fat.

The Reality

Hippopotamus are one of the largest animals in Africa.  They are rarely hunted by lions, or any other animal in the water or in the land, because they socialize in large herds upwards of 40-50 animals.  Though the animals are slow on land, they are very fast, and aggressive in the water, and can swim up to 5-6 miles per hour (by the way, that’s faster than a man can swim).  They are one of the most dangerous animals in Africa and are responsible for more wild animal inflicted deaths than any other animal in Africa, they are considered the most dangerous animal in Africa.  Hippopotamus can live up to 50-60 years old in captivity, and in the wild 40-50 years in the wild.  Zulu warriors prefer to be called Hippopotamuses, since even Lions don’t match them in bravery.

Lions are the largest cats in Africa.  They weigh up to 550 pounds, which is considerable less than the Hippopotamus.  The Lion life span is considerably shorter than the Hippopotamus, males generally live 10-15 years in the wild, and 20 years in captivity.  A Lion’s pride usually consists of 20-30 lions.  Most of the pride is female, with 1-2 males.  Female lions are considerably smaller than the males, and are faster and more aggressive.  When male lions turn 2-3 years old they are turned away from the pride. They either become nomadic lions, or they form their own pride.  The males sleep over 20 hours a day.  The females do hunt, but ironically, most of their diets are from scavenging rather than killing the animals themselves.  Often a pride will steal the kill from hyenas or cheetahs.  Many of the animals they consume die from natural causes.  The males will sometimes eat offspring that do not belong to him, to preserve his blood lines.  Lions do not normally kill, or consume humans.  Historically there are two instances of male lions killing and consuming humans– the first was the inspiration of “The Ghost and The Darkness” and occurred in Tsavo, and another instance occurred between 1995-2005 in Tanzania.   It is estimated that there are 200 Africans killed by wild animals in Tanzania annually, lions are only responsible for around 70 of all those who are killed, the rest were killed by Hippos, Rhinos, or Elephants.

Recently, the hippopotamus has become the mascot for military spouses.  It is meant as an insult by those that see themselves as the warriors, or lions.  It is meant primarily to put some people down, while building others up.  The funny thing, the animal that’s perceived as the most dangerous, beautiful, and king of all beasts, is actually not seen as all that brave or heroic in the native culture in the area where both lion and hippos roam.  Tanzanians and Zulu see hippos as the heroic and brave creature.  Lions are seen as scavengers and lazy.  Africans both fear and revere the animal meant to be an insult in American Culture.

If I were asked which animal I want to represent me, I would not pick either a hippo, or a lion.  I am not technically considered a hippo, and since I left the service, I don’t really consider myself a lion.  Rather than a hippo, lion, cheetah, or any number of other animals in Africa, I would pick a dentist.  Recently, a dentist killed both a hippo and a lion, and honestly, I’m more afraid of dentists than I am of anything else.

Caveat:  This piece in no way advocates the hunting of any animal.  I believe that the only thing an animal should be shot with, is a camera…

Sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippopotamus
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lion

More Responses…

Source: http://noguiltlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Frozen4.jpg

I know that I should just let it go, but I just can’t, so here’s my top ten less politically correct, and more humorous responses for the “OLDER” retired Navy Spouse, who felt the need to post a personal attack…

10.  Well, bless your heart, you think I’m sarcastic…

9.  You have read my posting for two years, and you are just now stating realize that I’m sarcastic, snide, and superior.  It took you two years?!  It normally takes people a few minutes.

8.  A person, who does not know me is posted a response to a forum post stating that I am “snide” and “sarcastic,” and in the next sentence she says that “I must think I’m superior…”  Lady, here’s pot and here’s kettle, why don’t you get to know each other while I have a cookie and glass of wine.

7.  So I’m snide?  Ma’am, the 1970s called, they want their insults back.

6.  Your waiting for my response.  Here’s a thought, why don’t you hold your breath, and get back to me in a few moments?

5.  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were my mother, or tInternet police.

4.  Thanks for your input, I will give it precisely the attention it deserves.

3.  You have been reading my posts for two years?  I don’t know if I should be happy about having an Internet stalker, or creeped out for having an Internet stalker.

2.  I’m just here reading the comments.

1.  I’m so glad you know me so well by reading what I write on an Internet forum.  We should be best good friends!  Why don’t you come over, so we can braid hair, watch movies, and eat popcorn?

My Response

I received this as a response to a post I made on a website a few months/weeks ago, this summer was kind of a blur, so I don’t really remember when I wrote what I wrote:

“I’ve been reading SpouseBuzz for years now, and it seems that many of your posts, jojo613, are on the snide/sarcastic side. Like this one, “reading comprehension issues”, really… You also come across as superior. Wow, cannot wait for your response to me:)”

That being said, the writer is waiting for a response from me, and I have decided to write one.  I wonder if it’s going to be the response he/she expects, or if he/she will be surprised, or if they will just write me off as sarcastic, snide, and superior.  So here are my responses:

I am sorry you feel that way.  With many other posters on this particular site, you have taken what I have said on such controversial issues as Dependas, Officer’s spouses, veterans, the commissary, and autism services, and have drawn a conclusion that I am sarcastic, snide, and superior.  I fill you in a few a things that you missed:

I was raised in a suburb of Minneapolis.  I spent the majority of my days in school from 2nd grade all the way until my senior year of high school on the defensive, because I was bullied.  At one point in time, in 8th grade I was on the school bus and four boys held me down, while another put his hands down my pants and another put his hands up my skirt.  The bus driver thought it was hilarious.  That was the last day I rode the bus to school.  The primary reason I was bullied is I have severe sensory processing disorder, along with ADD, and Aspergers.  On top of that, I also have dysgraphia (which is like dyslexia only with numbers and symbols).  Needless to say, I am beyond socially awkward.  I don’t have many “real” friends.  I usually end up saying something utterly inappropriate, or the way I say things completely turns people off.  Hence, probably the reason you posted what you posted.  And you probably drew that conclusion by reading what I write.  I mean you took the time to write a response that was meant to be degrading in the hopes to get a response that would be sarcastic, and exactly what you expect.  Here are a few things you don’t know about me:

• My husband is probably my only best friend.  He and I have been married for over 18 years, we have been together since I was 15.  I’m almost 40, so that’s a really long time.
• I call my mom every day, and more now, because my dad died in June.  I cry literally every day, because besides my husband, my dad was my champion.  He was so proud of me, even when I felt like an utter failure.  When I grew up bullied and with no friends, I spent the majority of my social time with my parents.
• Despite being sarcastic and snide, I am actually a really good friend.  If someone actually sees past my social ineptness, and befriends me, I will do just about anything to maintain that friendship.  There are things I do for my friends that they don’t even realize.  I don’t advertise what I do, because I don’t want credit for it.  If anyone I consider my friend would ask me for something, I would move Heaven and Earth to do it.  I love Christmas, because I love giving things.
• I actually will do things for my “enemies” too.  My sister-in-law, who hates me, opened a GoFundMe to buy a new dryer, I sent her $50.  It was all I could afford to do.  She doesn’t know I did it, because I did it anonymously (my husband didn’t know I did it either, and he would kill me if he found out– he doesn’t read blogs, so I’m safe).  My father-in-law who thinks I hate him (and I kind dislike him) would not get Christmas gifts if it weren’t for me.  All those cool books and DVDs he gets were actually picked out by yours truly.
• I don’t believe in can’t.  I think anyone who says “I can’t do x, y, or z, because of insert stupid ass excuse here” is full of shit.  I was told that I couldn’t run a marathon, I ran 10.  I was told that I shouldn’t go to college (because of my dysgraphia), I graduated cum laude.  I was told that I should go to a community college and not bother applying to an Ivy League, I was accepted into both the Air Force Academy and Notre Dame (I elected not to go to USAFA, because my husband was a year ahead of me, and we would have had to break up, so I went to ROTC.  I didn’t have a scholarship to Notre Dame, and my parents couldn’t afford to help me).  If you tell me I can’t do something, I will do it anyway to prove you wrong.
• I believe that sweating is good for the soul.  I may be sarcastic, snide, and superior, but I am not afraid of working my ass off.  If I don’t have things to make me sweat– like yard work to do, I will work out.  Above and beyond housework/manual labor, I work out around 2 hours a day.  I also spend about 4 hours a day writing, and no not on SpouseBuzz.
• Honestly, I normally go on SpouseBuzz and comment on things when I am feeling low, because it is easier to be sarcastic, snide, and superior, when you are not feeling 100%.  My kids are sick– I’m on SpouseBuzz commenting about Ketchup-gate, Dad died– SpouseBuzz reading an article about how unhappy military spouses are, I had some snot nosed airman call me a Dependa at the track– SpouseBuzz trying to stop the lovely prejudicial behavior.  You get the trend.  I think that the majority of people who spend time reading commentary, commenting, or debating with strangers do so when they are not feeling good about themselves, and sometimes spreading negativity makes you feel better.  The sad fact is, and I know this better than most– it doesn’t make you feel better.  I know that you think calling me on my behavior (and ultimately writing an insulting comment like you did) made you feel better, but it didn’t really, did it?  It’s easy to be negative when you don’t really know someone.  If you found I was a friend of yours, would you call someone snide, superior to their face, and would you challenge them to respond to you in the same manner?  I doubt it.

So now that I wrote out this long response in an attempt to humanize myself, I realize that you probably don’t really care.  So…  Here’s actually my first and last response:  A random stranger on a spouse forum doesn’t like me, because she read the comments I made throughout the last few years, and this must be the sum of all that I am.  OK…  Boohoo.  Now it’s time to bake some cookies.  You like chocolate chips?

10 Reasons Military Spouses Are More Like Mutant Manatees From Hell Than Hippos

10.  Mutant Manatees from hell blend in with their environment.  So do military spouses.  We up and move at the drop of a hat, and blend in where ever we end up.

9.   Mutant Manatees from hell have tough, thick skins that are impervious to Sharks With Laser Beams.  So are military spouses.  We can take any situation and turn into unicorns and rainbows.

8.  Mutant Manatees from hell take really good care of their young, but sometimes when they misbehave, they eat them.  So do most military spouses.

7.  Mutant Manatees from hell have sharp teeth.  So do military spouses.

6.  Mutant Manatees from hell roam in large packs and eat a lot.  Ever go to a restaurant on a Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday evening around a military town?  Nuff said.

5.  Mutant Manatees from hell were the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but they live in the water.  I don’t know how to tie this to military spouses, but some of us are really mad skills with a bow staff.

4.  Mutant Manatees from hell reside in Florida.  The largest bases in the military are Florida, coincidence, I think not.

3.  Mutant Manatees from hell can be slow moving, but they also can be really, really fast when in stealth mode.  There are some fast military spouses and some slow military spouses.

2.  Mutant Manatees from hell mate for life, except for some of them are mean bitches and they cheat on their husbands.  So do military spouses.

1.  Mutant Manatees from hell are an imaginary creature I made up (and someone else photoshopped the picture, I just found it on the internetz).  So are military spouses who are called Dependas– and they are photoshopped too.

Dear Dependa…

Hi, my name is Jodi. I am a military spouse, and a military veteran.  I spent five years in the military, and have been associated with the military for over 20 years between marriage, dating, and being in the reserves and active duty.  I am writing to you the people referred to as Dependas, and those who hate them.

You see, Dependa, you are making the rest of us look badly.  Your actions are reflecting upon us.  Whether you are marrying a person out of convenience, going to base with a bad attitude, or are just down right immature and behaving as such.  As someone who has been around the block it saddens me that your behavior is affecting the way the rest of us relate to other military members and their spouses.  I have some suggestions for you.

First of all, if you are getting married for “the benefits,” just don’t.  They really are not that great, and there are fewer and fewer benefits.  Military pay really isn’t all that and a bag of chips.  I have lived in base housing for two years and after living down the street from one of you, I will never live on base again.  Yeah, military guys are hot, we all know that, but please for the love of all that’s holy, think before you get married.

Secondly, don’t post your bullsh#t on the Internet.  I don’t want to know that your husband is deployed and you are available.  If you are not going to keep a dog, don’t adopt one.  Don’t bring your marital problems, your cat fights, or your hot mess of a house on public Facebook pages.  I don’t want to know that you and your husband are swingers, put that on other sites thank-you-very-much.  If you would be embarrassed if your Facebook posts would be read out loud on Jimmy Fallon, it doesn’t belong on Facebook.

If you are an officer’s spouse, keep your husband’s rank to yourself.  Guess what, honey?  There’s always some guy who outranks your husband.  You don’t get saluted when you come on base, you don’t get to butt in front of the person in uniform by virtue of your husband’s rank.  You don’t get any special privileges, trust me.  I have been a Lieutenant’s spouse, a Captain’s spouse, a Major’s Spouse, and a Colonel’s spouse—my poop still stinks, I still put my panties on the same way, and I don’t even throw around the rank I did earn.

Furthermore, Officer’s Spouse, you don’t outrank spouses.  When I talk to the spouses in my husband’s unit, I say this: “Rank amongst spouses is like chastity amongst whores, it don’t exist.”  Especially, spouses married to senior members, let the younger spouses run the FRG/Key Spouse program.  A great leader steps aside and let’s other people shine.  I know that when I was younger, I was scared of the spouses of my husband’s boss, and even the most down-to-earth spouse can be overwhelming to a brand new spouse.  Finally, when you have bad days, we all have them, just stay away from base.  No need to be witchy to the bagger at the commissary.

Now, to those Dependas who think it’s cool to point out and shame other Dependas.  Just don’t, especially when you are participating in the whole Mommy Wars.  It’s not your business why someone is a stay at home mom.  A person who is overweight is NO burden to you, so don’t judge.  If you are happily married and supporting your husband, then be happy. There’s no reason for you to point out that you are better than someone else.  You are not.  If you absolutely need to point out how much better you are, perhaps you should seek therapy.  Posting negative crap on Facebook just spread negativity—when you add a negative number to another negative number, you continue to get negative numbers—simple addition.  Unless you are absolutely perfect and Jesus Incarnate, you have no place to judge anyone else.

If you are an active duty Dependa, you need to stop too.  Really we all get it, there are Dependas, and they are bad people. Pointing out how horrible they are doesn’t make you look any better.  The military relies on the support of the civilians, who choose to fight for the military and its veterans.  Often the strongest supporters are military spouses, or Dependas, alienating them is not in your best interest.  Further, the military is not forever, once you get out and try to find a job, do you think your behavior online will convince people to hire you?  As someone who has been a manager and has hired people in the past, I look at social media accounts, if you are badmouthing your boss’ wife active duty, do you honestly think someone will hire you?  What if you are single and looking for love?  Would comments about someone else’s husband/wife endear you to a future mate?  I know many single women, who do social media searches on their boyfriends.

Also stop extending the definition of a Dependa.  People who make brag bags, OK I get it, they are irritating, ugly, and not something I personally would wear, but are they really Dependas?  Women who have Vera Bradley, or Coach bags—Dependa?  I know plenty of non-military women who like these things.  How does what one person spends their money on hurt someone else?  And finally, those who are getting more vocal about the whole bullying thing, they are over-sensitive, and therefore are Dependas, right?  I don’t like the word retard, my son is delayed.  I have seen how retard hurts him, so I don’t like it when people use that word.  Does that make me a retard, too?

Finally, if you are thinking about getting married to a Dependa, particularly you, young E-1s and E-2s.  Think about it before you get married.  If you are marrying someone as a convenience the DoD is starting to crack down on the convenience marriages.  Putting an ad on Craig’s List could very well get you courts martialed.  Living in dorms is a Right of Passage.  Just ask anyone who went to college immediately after high school.  It sucks, but it’s short lived.  Getting married for the BAH, the housing, or to get more freedom is not a good reason to get married.  Someone will end up getting hurt, and it will probably be you.  Women who marry men for money usually end up screwing them over.  And you know as well as I do, that your buddies will try to talk you out of it.  I have seen it, and I have been the one trying to talk a young airman out of a bad relationship.  Listen to them.

Well, Dependa, that’s about all I have.  You are getting far more attention than you deserve.  You have monopolized military publications, you take over the comments section, and you are just the bane of everyone’s existence.  If you are the ones pointing out Dependa flaws, please do what you advise non-Dependas, ignore them.  They aren’t really hurting you, but you are hurting others in the process.